Little spoons don't ask big questions
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Girls should come with a carfax report
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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