Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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