I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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