It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
