I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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