Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
