remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
