i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
