he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
this just has baby written all over it
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
