Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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