it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
