I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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