you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
