I'll bet she douches with gravy.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
