Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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