my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Barsexuality is the new black.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
