The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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