I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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