So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
