Already got asked if we're dating
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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