In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
