I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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