No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
my shit smells like andre
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
