That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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