That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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