Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
This is classic penis vs brain.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
