...so i touched it.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
