you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
