Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
