cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
where are my pants?
in the oven.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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