Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
