Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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