we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
