He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
