It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
