I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
