You work out of a Hotel?
wakey wakey hands off snakey
operation harelip BJ is a go
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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