just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
