Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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