i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
