Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
