I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Everything about him screamed your future.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
this hospital has no fireball
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
