I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
We had to coat check the pizza.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
These tits shall not be calmed
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
