am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
