Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
She needs sedatives and a leash
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
