I got chris browned last night
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize