You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
