Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
We have started to decorate penises.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
