look no pants
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
