hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I bet he comes in French.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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