I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
