I'm eating all of the evidence.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
