It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
