is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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