I have demons in me.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
