Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
