Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
