It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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