feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
