Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
