i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Randomize
