Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
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